You Can't Think Your Way Out of Being Stuck

There's a common misconception that by knowing more, life magically becomes easier.

I think the theory is that by increasing your knowledge, you can see clearly what to do next, and then you move.

So if you're stuck, you're essentially sold on the notion that you can think your way out of it.

I don't know about you, but when I'm stuck, adding more research, information, ideas, etc. actually digs me into a deeper stuckness.

I quite literally think my way into a rabbit hole that feels impossible to get out of.

It doesn't matter if I'm stuck as in not moving, or stuck in a bad mood.

Stuck is stuck.

And thinking does not help.

A filthy mood

This happened to me the other day.

I was pre-period, tired, overstimulated, short-tempered, and quite out of alignment in every sense.

To put it frankly, I was stuck in a pretty filthy mood.

I didn't want to be, so I pushed against it by pretending I was fine.

But whenever something went slightly haywire, instead of my usual humour, I lost my shit.

I had taken the kids out for an ambitious beach walk after picking up some sourdough from our local and had this idea that it would be a lovely winter morning together.

My youngest (4 years old) was not herself either, and every whine and complaint had me close to flipping out.

By the time I got home, I was the grumpiest I'd been in a while.

My husband was pissing me off, and we had a few choice words together.

The more I tried thinking my way out of it, though, the worse it got.

I was not pleasant to be around.

What shifted everything

At one point, I took my moon chair outside to sit in the sun with a cup of tea.

Still feeling pathetic, I decided to give meditation a shot.

It helped a little, but my thoughts were still running rampant.

I knew I needed to feel my way out of it, and I realised stillness wasn't going to help.

I needed to move.

So I put on my runners and invited my eldest (7 years old) to come with me because I knew I could cope with her coming.

I refused my youngest because I knew I couldn't cope if she got tired halfway through.

As we started walking, I politely encouraged my daughter to be a little quieter.

Then inspiration hit me.

I needed to really move if I wanted to shift myself.

So we did spurts of running together, and in under an hour of walk-running, I was a completely different person.

Feeling your way there

And it's because I felt my way there.

I felt that being outside would offer some relief, and in doing so I felt slightly more reconnected.

I felt meditation might shift my mood, and I got a little more reconnected.

Then after that, I felt movement would help, so I got myself out the door.

It was the movement that reconnected me the most.

But I couldn't have thought my way to that.

I needed to feel my way there.

Slowly.

Surely.

A little relief at a time.

Most people are trying to leap from stuck to inspired. But in my experience, it's usually about going from stuck to slightly less stuck.

And the same is true for any version of being stuck.

It's about feeling slightly better.

Then slightly better.

Then slightly better again.

Until you go from stuck to the movement that feels just right.

And then trusting the next step from there.

It's certainly not magic.

But it is simple.

And honestly, so simple that it can actually trip most people up.